A while back I had an encounter with a woman that I dated years ago. As we prepared to say our goodbyes she reached for her purse in search for her business card. Among the stuff she pulled out of her purse I noticed a pin that said “I am a Miranda”. That made me wonder what being a Miranda meant to her and (selfish me) how that would affect me. Since I knew little about Sex and the City I went to watch all the seasons. After much study and pondering it hit me, Sex and the City has given us man the keys to improve our lives.
All the men in the civilized world (civilized meaning cities with internet, cable, movies and coffee shops) should be grateful for the writers, producers and directors of the Sex and City franchise. This debt of gratitude comes from the fact that Sex and the City has created a series of archetypes that will now reside in the female collective unconscious. We man can use these archetypes to try and figure out the female species that inhabit our cities.
Archetypes are the symbols that become universally accepted by a group. Most importantly is that these archetypes become a model of what should be. These are to be copied in the person’s life and are ideals for a person to aspire to. The Bible, Shakespeare and even Star Wars have provided us and articulated for us the examples of the most enduring archetypes in our society. Sex and the City have provided us with four new archetypes of the female in our society (a few of the male character).
With millions of loyal viewers, blogs, wikis and blockbusters films, the spread of these archetypes is far and wide. Even the detractors of the ideals in Sex and the City help to spread them. Those who argue against these archetypes go about ranting that they present stereotypical shallow, nihilistic and materialistic women. Yet they miss the fact that by bringing controversy to the issue they give credence and exposure to these ideals by denouncing them.
Thankfully, some women explicitly accept that they do try to imitate and become the archetypes of their choosing. For men these women are easy to peg since they proudly adhere to one of the four archetypical females of the series. You only need to be able to identify which character of the series she identifies with and you will know what her archetypical vision of herself is.
By knowing the archetypes in Sex and the City you will have an idea of the strengths and flaws of the women in your life and her vision of the future life. But more importantly is that every archetypical woman in Sex and the City has pre selected archetypal man to be paired with them (Carrie and Mr. Big, Charlotte and Harry, etc.). We can, according to the characters in the series, decipher what are their expectations in a relationship is. We have a model to adapt ourselves to what their expectations might be of a man.
Still most of the woman that have been exposed to the archetypical ideals in Sex and City do not freely admit the influence, dismissing these as stereotypical females, just characters in a TV series. This denial is important for the advantage of man, since it is impossible to be exposed to an ideal and not be influenced by it at some level. Those women that have followed the franchise have been exposed to that ideal, the longer they have been exposed to that idea the more it is reinforced. They have in their consciousness and unconscious what are the archetypes that they should strive for.
The heroine of the mythos, Carrie, is the main archetype for females (or least the one most sold to woman). She represents the intelligent successful artist whose musings on relationships is the drive of the franchise. She embodies the flaw that could send any man running from any woman, insatiable materialism. Samantha is the strong no nonsense business woman who is equally confident in herself and self centered. Charlotte is the well educated and well mannered heiress ready to be swoop away by a knight in shining armor as such she lacks common sense. Miranda is a professional and workaholic who tries to be pragmatic in her life, yet ends up as being mostly shallow (the perfect description of my former date).
Sex and the City also present us a few male archetypes that women might be expecting or might be looking for. Conveniently enough, there are more male archetypes than females, ladies choice it seems. The one that all men we should scorn is Mr. Big. It can be argued that this is the ideal man in the series. None of his flaws are truly an impediment to his perfection. Not even his unwillingness to commit or the episodes of unfaithfulness are as important as his virtues. He is financially secure, has the looks and the wit, in that order of importance to the females in the series.
The rest of the males presented in Sex and the City represent different characteristics that woman might be looking for at different stages of their development. We have Smith the young dude that is willing to wait and deal with the issues of an older woman. Trey, the perfect gentleman of breed who might have undisclosed issues that hampers his perfection. Jack the intellectual equal of the heroine who is mostly wrong and not able to live to his own (and his mate) expectations. Aidan the perfect would-be husband if the heroine will have him. But, my personal favorite is Aleksandr, the Russian, a self absolved artist who puts its career before anything else. Yet the woman is willing to do what he wants her to do.
There are other archetypes and combinations of them but it is the man in the relationship who must watch the series to be prepared on what the expectations of him might be.
As a creator of expectations there is a dark side to Sex and the City. You could argue that Sex and the City creates a series of unattainable stereotypes to the average woman. That these archetypes create a series of unrealistic life styles goals and self image. This creates a cognitive dissonance between what the self image should be and what really is. This can lead to personal frustrations and tension in the relations when the ideals of Sex and the City are not met. But any man with common sense will run away from any woman that takes a TV series to that extreme…
Watching re runs of Sex and City, reading the wiki’s from the characters and going to the movies is an endeavor of a researcher. Men who undertake these tasks are social scientist who are striving understand the female species. As responsible social scientist we must watch the new installment of this series, smartly call Sex and the City 2. We must accompany our girlfriends and take our dates to this movie. They will think that we are doing it out of thoughtfulness to them. That we are being the perfect husband and the good boyfriend who are willing to go, see and enjoy a chick flick with them. When in reality we are in a fact-finding expedition on what is the next step in the civilize world women collective unconsciousness.
We might never be able to answer Freud perennial question, what do woman want? But now Sex and the City have constructed an answer for us in its unique way to that question. We can answer what do woman who watches Sex and the City want… and use that knowledge to our advantage… to have safe sex in the cities…
